Trying not to let the darkness eat me up again..

Today, for the second time since December, I thought about death. I’m not really sure why, or what triggered this empty feeling,
but it’s there in the back of my mind.
And it harbored there previously for a long time... I don’t want to go back to that dark place.
I feel disconnected at the moment.
I can’t really explain what’s got me choking up, but the idea of taking a permanent leap seems satisfying & at the same time, too easy... Life's hard, as it should be, because the Goal is Grand!!!
I Pray about it daily:: for Patience, Strength & Understanding, to overcome this and be @ peace... Everything happens for a reason && I'm still figuring out what that reason is. I know God loves me, I trust that He will continue taking care of me and growing me in this.. My goal is set to the heavens, where I will Praise my God in a perfect, pain free state..

No Rain :( but cloudy... Good Enough ❤❤

Early Day @Santa Monica 4 a Shoot!!

❤❤❤❤

Every day I want to wake up and pray for the new day knowing that "This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it" {Psalm 118:24}

"Take one step at a time, every step under Divine warrant and direction. Ever plan for yourself in simple dependence on God. It is nothing less than self-idolatry to conceive that we can carry on even the ordinary matters of the day without his counsel. He loves to be consulted...Consider no circumstances too clear to need his direction. In all thy ways, small as well as great; in all thy concerns, personal or relative, temporal or eternal, let him be supreme. Who of us has not found the unspeakable 'peace' of bringing to God matters too minute or individual to be entrusted to the most confidential ear?... If in true poverty of spirit we go every morning to our Lord, as knowing not how to guide ourselves for this day; our eye constantly looking upward for direction, the light will come down. He shall direct thy paths…. Let the will be kept in a quiet, subdued, cheerful, readiness, to move, stay, retreat, turn to the right hand or to the left, at the Lord’s bidding; always remembering that is best which is least our own doing, and that a pliable spirit ever secures the needful guidance…. No step well prayed over will bring ultimate regret.” ~Charles Bridges

Proverbs 3:5-6: "In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths."

Thankful for good friends. ❤❤❤ Encouraging & Faithful Friends are so rare!!!

I'm praying for strength and energy, specifically for no more flare ups.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." {Proverbs 3:5-6}

Wow didn't know how much that really affected me :( I mean thinking about it today made me realize... Dang I wasn't really even an option from the beginning, kinda hurts really bad..
Of course, as always, it's all my fault, just a part of me messing up. I lost a ton more than I thought..
There's Fam/friends and you think they will always stick through everything with you, no matter what. But There's only so much people can take, I guess...

"Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful."

.Mystère was .D.Bomb.
-A Must See-
❤ !!!!! ❤

Juliet Simms ❤ She was the winner the first time I heard her and she will always be the winner in my book :) But I know She's got this!

❤ Tanning&enjoying life ❤
❤ Thankful for my baby ❤

Hurting yourself on the outside to kill the things on the inside..

HE IS RISEN ❤❤❤ "The angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified.He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay." ❤❤❤ Matt28.5

Some days I want to be a writer. And others I just want to rest all day & Pray about getting better. I wanted to be a talented & known Makeup Artist/Hair Stylist but that's probably not in the cards for me, like when I used to wish I could stomach dissection so as to make it to vet school, but its all in the Lords hands. We Plan & Plan our lives and goals ourselves when in reality it's the Lord who knows what's best for us, He will open the right doors & guide us in the right & perfect path. I will just chill and enjoy life as best I can.
♥ Don't stress, stay classy ♥

..MY TIME HAS COME..
Seems I can hear a Choir sing
And the gentle sound of rustling wings
There’s Someone standing on the shore
To guide my spirit safely o’er
I hear my Father calling me
My time has come to cross the Sea
I’d like to say before I go
That I have no fear, for I surely know
That the One Who died on Calvary
Removed the sting of death for me
Oh yes I hate to leave you here
For you have been a friend so dear
But surely you will follow me
When it comes your time to cross the Sea
To all my friends that I leave behind
If you should search your heart and find
That I have caused one tear or pain
Forgive me ‘til we meet again
Farewell my friends, don’t cry for me
My time has come to cross the Sea.
~ Arvil Jones ~